The Life Of Severus Snape
by halffictionalprincess
Summary: Snippets from the life of Severus Snape. "The last thing Severus Snape ever saw were Lily Evan's eyes, the same eyes that had once held nothing but love for him, and he died in peace, hoping that he'd done all he could to make up for all the mistakes he'd made."


**A/n- This is something I've always wanted to write, and thankfully I got the chance to do it! Written for QLFC with Severus Snape as the character prompt!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own HP, if I did no one would've died. ****Especially not Dobby. Or Fred.**

_**The Life Of Severus Snape**_

He watched her every day, playing with her sister, walking around with her dad, cooking in the kitchen with her mom, and at night sitting on the roof making leaves on her terrace fly.

He'd known they were alike, that even though they came from different worlds, they both knew what it meant to be completely different, what it meant to be alone.

The first time he'd scrounged up the courage to talk to her, she'd been crying.

Her sister had just called her freak, for knowing magic. He wished he could make it all better for her, he was so angry at her sister he wanted to curse her, but he'd said nothing.

What he had done was tell her how special she was, how unique she was, how magical she was. That eleven year old boy hadn't known, but he'd fallen in love, and there was no way out.

She'd been so fascinated, so amazed and the first time that he'd made her laugh, he'd lost his heart completely. He'd decided then that he would protect her; he knew she would get picked on at school, but he swore he would protect the girl who now held his heart.

When she told him her name, 'Lily', he'd thought that the name was perfect for her, she as beautiful, as delicate and as wonderful as a lily, and he wished he could protect her from all the bees in this world.

Little had he know, he'd become the very reason, that beautiful lily would get plucked.

-x0x0x0x0x-

The day he'd lost Lily as a friend, he'd thought he lost everything.

It'd been a normal enough day, getting picked on by Potter and posse was usual, but his fight was Lily wasn't.

He remembered how Lily's friends had laughed when Potter had hoisted him up; he'd known that Lily would laugh too. She detested his friends, defamed his interests, and he knew despite what she said, she liked Potter, everyone did.

He'd been humiliated, everyone laughed, and he'd never, ever hated Gryffindors as much as he did then. His embarrassment and fury had erupted all at once. He lost all control over his mind, his anger took over and he screamed out the one word he knew would affect Lily, especially coming from him, who knew how much she hurt whenever someone called her that.

"Mudblood," he shouted, and tears filled Lily's eyes, he saw Black and Lupin holding Potter back, who was coming to punch him, and as he watched Lily run away, wiping at her face, he wished they would stop holding Potter back, because heavens knew he deserved it.

In just the span of one word, Severus Snape lost the one person who'd loved him unconditionally, who'd never asked for anything. He'd lost the only person he ever loved.

And it was all, his fault.

-x0x0x0x0x-

The worst day of his life was October 31, 19

He'd figured out much later that Pettigrew had been the secret keeper, that he'd ratted Lily and James out.

And when he did, he'd felt his heart die.

He walked up those stairs, managing himself around Potter's body, surprised by the grief that hit him on seeing the body of a man Lily had loved so much. He dreaded every step he took, he needed to get to Lily but he also feared what he might find when he reached.

He took a deep breath and opened the room and his whole world shattered.

He was vaguely aware of the baby crying, but the sound only fell on his ears, his heart was breaking as he looked at Lily's lifeless body on the floor.

In one moment, he'd lost everything.

He wondered what was left for him to live for now, as tears streamed down his face and he gathered Lily in his arms, he wondered now how pointless all of it had been, Voldemort, immortality, none of it mattered now that lily was gone.

After that night he no longer lived but he just breathed, he just existed like an aimless autumn leaf, weathered and broken from its source of life, floating because of wind and it will one day, just waste away, dissolving into the earth that once gave birth to it.

-x0x0x0x0x-

He struggled to keep his hands from shaking, struggled to not show how his heart was breaking all over again, just like the time four years ago he'd seen Harry Potter, with Lily Evans's eyes, walk into that great hall.

He'd heard about the mirror but never looked in it. But he had a faint idea of what he would see, and now again; the similarities between him and Harry struck him like a curse.

They both treated Hogwarts as home, they both had grown up in a less than ideal home, and they both saw Lily Evans when they looked in The Mirror of Erised.

Her smiling face and kind eyes haunted him, and just when those memories had started to fade, Harry Potter's mind brought them all back.

Not for the first time in his life, he felt jealous of Harry Potter, because even though the boy had lost a lot, he had people who loved him, friends, and a pseudo-family that loved him like their own. He'd only had one person who'd loved him like that, and she'd been taken away from him.

He didn't have a picture of her, so he'd never thought he'd ever see her again, but occulemency is an art that wonders deep, through the happiest and darkest memories, and Lily and James Potter happened to be one of the happiest for Harry Potter.

He longed to see her again, just for a moment, see her, stare at her beautiful face, lose himself in her beauty, and finally get some peace.

-x0x0x0x0x-

Something inside him knew that this was his last night in the mortal world.

As he waited for The Dark Lord, the events of the past hour played through his mind, Harry Potter, was foolish to come back to Hogwarts, and... and Minerva McGonagall, stepping in front of him... god, for a moment all he could see was Lily, stepping in front of that crib as Voldemort attacked her son.

And that broke his heart all over again.

But he wasn't supposed to show emotion, he was a death eater, and would stay the same in everyone's eyes, but he still hadn't completed Dumbledore's last instruction, he needed to tell Potter about what he was supposed to do.

Harry Potter had to die, but that didn't make him any happier, it just made him sad, because no matter what, Harry was Lily's son, and she'd died trying to protect him, and now it was up to him to order Harry to die.

He replayed the day he met Lily in his mind all over again, her beautiful face and soul, her kind eyes, shining like emeralds, her breathtaking smile and just... her.

She was everything, and she'd been ripped away from him, now it was time he helped her son avenge her death... by asking him to die.

-x0x0x0x0x-

The last thing Severus Snape ever saw were Lily Evan's eyes, the same eyes that had once held nothing but love for him, and he died in peace, hoping that he'd done all he could to make up for all the mistakes he'd made.


End file.
